Τελικά οι Αγγλοι έχουν humor :)

The German emblem is an eagle.
The French wear a cockerel.
For the English, it's three lions.
On an American's shirt it's usually mayo, ketchup and mustard.

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My wife called me an annoying cunt the other day.

I almost choked on my vuvuzela.
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John Terry: "If we can't be honest, there is no point being out here," said the love-cheat son of a drugs dealer and shoplifter.
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I was just playing as England on FIFA World Cup 2010 on the PS3 and was shocked at how realistic it is... Then I realised I'd accidentally turned my controller off
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If anyone can learn anything from Uruguay's Luis Suarez.

It's Rob Green.

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I asked Fabio Capello if he thought England would go 4-4-2 today. He said "No, I think they will go 7-4-7, it's bigger and offers more leg room."
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Went to the chemist for some condoms...
Got the Robert Green ones, extra slippery and guaranteed to fuck all!

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Apparently there has been a massive increase in theft and violent crime in South Africa during the world cup.

OTHER NEWS: Liverpool records its lowest crime rate in decades.
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What do you get when you cross a Lampard shot with a disallowed goal?

50 million England fans unable to accept that they lost 4-1 not 4-2.
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Alcoholic trying to quit?
Try the new England drinking game,

Down a pint every time England score!
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Substituting Defoe for Heskey when you need goals?

That's like switching off the porn when you fancy a wank. -----------------------------------------------------------------

I met a fairy today who granted me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."
"Fine," I said, "I want to die when West Brom win the premier league."
"You crafty cunt!" said the fairy.  -------------------------------------------------------------------

England players: protect yourself from Emile Heskey by disguising yourself as a goal. -----------------------------------------------------------------------

England will be playing Algeria on Friday evening.

If you don't want to know the score... watch it on ITV HD.
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In the jungle, South African jungle
Three lions sleep tonight
Cos in the morning, the early morning
They have to catch a flight

A win no way, a win no way
A win no way, a win no way ----------------------------------------------------------------------
I didn't doubt England for a minute.

I doubted them for ninety three.
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No wonder Rooney's been scoring in training, as Capello claims. He's been playing against England's defence.
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Match of the Day - Slovenia 2-0 USA at half-time.

American News - Suspicions of oil under Slovenia.
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Top Tip for England's next game:

If you're watching on Sky+ press pause and wait a second before pressing play. Being a second or two behind the live play will give you that authentic Emile Heskey viewpoint.
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I think I finally understand the offside rule! If that black guy touches the ball, then it's offside, right?
(Emile Heskey)
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